Humour - (Courtesy ~ Rams and chain emails!)

Jeppiar, the chairman of Satyabama Engineering College and some other colleges (in Chennai) started his career as a police constable. He was the right hand of MGR and due to his political power he started an engineering college. He named it after MGR’s mother Satyabama. Now, enjoy these English sentences from Jeppiar . Friends they are extemely funny and you might burst into laughter. These are a few comedies about Jeppiar. Mind u. These are facts!!!!! Nice to read…read it fully..u will really enjoy it.

# About his family :
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I have two daughters. Both of them are girls…(?)
# At the ground :
—————–
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
*The girl with the mirror please come her…{Meaning girl with specs).
# To a boy, angrily :
———————
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
# Giving a punishment :
———————–
* You, rotate the ground four times…
* You, go and under-stand the tree…
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late – say YES or NO …..(?)
# Sir at his best :
——————-
Sir had once gone for a movie with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of his students at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school… ( to that boy ) – “Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”
Inside the Class :
——————
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves – take the bigger half.
* Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .. )
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today
…
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
* Take 5 cm wire of any length….
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once jeppiar had come late to a college function, by the time the function had started, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry i am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
This is the way his english will be but let me tell u some of the dialogues heard during Sathyabama college day 2001 -
“This college strict u the worry no … u get good marks, i the happy,
tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry i enjoy”
St joseph freshyears day 2003 -
“No ragging this college. anybody rag we arrest the police”
One of his famous sayings “girl girl talk,boy boy talk, but no boy girl talk”.